How often are you hard on yourself? How quick are you to judge or criticize something that you’ve said or done?

You know that saying that goes, “You are your own worst critic”? It is very true that most of us are hard on ourselves, especially when we get the feeling that we are “falling short” in some way (i.e. achievements, work, career, school, relationships, body-image, appearance, financial status, etc…). We all experience that self-critical inner voice at varying degrees and at this day and age in our society, it is very common.

Some people who find themselves with a loud inner critic might seem to find it hard to be more kind and gentle to themselves, or almost impossible. However, we have to remember that the cycle of self-criticism will continue as it is if we don’t change it – and how does that feel? Also, its important to understand that this habit of being self-critical is exactly that – A HABIT – you might be used to resorting to this behavior in response to whenever you feel you don’t “match up”, meaning this is a habit that has reinforced and conditioned within your repertoire. So it makes sense it is hard to be kind to ourselves, when we don’t really have much experience with it!

As you begin to build a NEW HABIT, start by trying out a couple of these self-compassion practices and see which ones really resonate with you to help quiet your inner critic:

♡ Ideas for you to start your self-compassion practice today ♡

• Start becoming more aware to when the inner critic shows up (in what situations and under what circumstances?
• Validate your experience as normal and recognize it is okay to be struggling with this, other human beings on this planet have also felt this way or may be going through something similar
• Remind yourself that failing, making mistakes, going through hard times, and suffering are part of being human. Each and every one of us suffers in some way, at some time in our life
• Remind yourself that your inner critic is not you. That harsh voice that shows up, is not your voice. You can choose to not believe in what it says about you.
• Keep a daily self-compassion journal: finding ways to be kind and gentle to any struggles you encountered for the day
• Think about how you would treat a loved one, good friend, or a child who was in a similar situation as you. Try talking to yourself the same way you would to someone else. It can be helpful to do this out loud to really hear the words or to write them down to help process the words in a different way.
• Create self-compassion affirmations and mantras 
• Try self-compassion meditations including:
  1. https://self-compassion.org/category/exercises/#exercises 
  2. https://youtu.be/mYk-MldGDWA 
• Read books on self-compassion including:
  1. Kristin Neff – Self-Compassion and Fierce Self-compassion
  2. Chrtopher Germer – The mindful path to self-compassion
  3. Tara Brach – Radical Compassion
  4. Alexndra Elle – After the Rain